Blog Post #10 Consumed with the weight on the scale


Consumed with the Scale

 I wrote this awhile ago but I still think people need to address the unhealthy relationship they have with their body weight so I hope you enjoy this:

Why what’s going on in your head is more important than what number is on the scale or what you look like in the mirror.  EX: I want to “fill in the blank,” I have to “fill in the blank,” or If I can only “fill in the blank.”

The Problem: approaching a goal in this manner creates an AGREEMENT/EXPECTATION/END either consciously or subconsciously.  We attach an outcome to our efforts or put a condition to our goal. This means we are not living in the present, we are not loving in the present because of the number on the scale or the person in the mirror, or whatever your “fill in the blank may be!” Goal Setting should be fun! Yes, scary too but not based on a condition that we will not allow ourselves to be loved or to be alive until this goal is reached.  Life does not stop when we set a goal; it is enriched that we want to work on ourselves knowing that we don’t have to do anything to give and receive love or be alive. Most agreements we make are subjective; they will only have the meaning you assign to them. Happiness will be contingent upon these agreements and the conditions we have put on our own self-love. This approach is a double-edged sword: If we reach a goal the bar will forever be raised.  If we don’t reach a goal the cycle will start over either way you will not be satisfied and the struggle will forever continue. How do we fix this?

Here Is the Truth: Accept the idea that you are already perfect. Self-acceptance.  You are Perfect! Whatever you are working towards is something that you want to do.  Whatever you do is not to reach perfection; you are already there. Perfect! Every being is already perfect right now the way they are if you can see each person in this light with the understanding that a perfect being sees all other beings through the eyes of unconditional love separate from fear, doubt, shame, judgment, and attachment.  This is the goal every person on the planet should have; this is the goal of the planet; nothing else really matters if every perfect being views one another in this light; perfect. With this mindset, we can then refocus to work on our own personal dream. Why not? What else do you have to lose?

Dreams setting instead of Goal setting: What do you want to accomplish? What do you want to achieve? Experience? Dreams are personal, self-accepting, unconditional, and beings who strive for this learn to live, love, and positively affect their life and the lives of others.  The problem has always been the freedom to choose to create dreams or nightmares.

Nightmares are unfortunately the world most people choose: nightmares are impersonal, judgmental, conditional, and beings who strive for this seek material possessions, material happiness, and have a negative effect on their life and the lives of others.  I am not saying that all material possessions, money, and status are bad and should be avoided rather, when this is the goal it will only lead to more of the same because the goal will never truly be reached or the bar will continually be raised. 

Allow me to use an example to demonstrate my point: A person wants to set the goal of losing 20lb in less than 3 months.  This is a common goal that many human beings have attempted or attempted something similar. Some of the problems with this goal are how specific it is 20lbs in less than 3 months.  This person’s lifestyle will change drastically, daily habits, eating habits, training habits as well as the tools they will use to reach this goal. Personal trainer, group class, training program, video program, equipment just to name a few.  And because this goal is so specific the person’s mindset will change as well. I have to reach this goal, If I can only reach this goal, I want to reach this goal. The closer you get to the goal the more the mindset continues to change I am never going to reach this goal, this goal is impossible, I can’t reach this goal go back to the drawing board and start over.  Or perhaps, I am killing this goal, I am going to reach my goal, If I reach this goal then I am going to set another goal and another goal and continually set goals until I can no longer set goals then I will go back to the drawing board and start over setting more goals. Alternatively, if the same person sets the goal or dreams of becoming healthier so they can feel better from the onset everything is in their control such as daily habits, eating habits, training habits, and mindset.  They choose the tools they will use to reach this dream and the measuring stick for such a dream does not have a definite ending or beginning meaning they can start becoming healthier and feel better right now and every day moving forward.  If they fall off or take a break all they should do to get back on track is go back to the things that they started doing to be healthier and feel better. Every day can be a victory! Each step along the way can be considered its own accomplished goal.  With this approach, you are developing the person from the inside out not from the outside in and it starts with loving and accepting the self. This process of dream setting comes from a place of love not fear, acceptance not shame, doubt, or judgement.  Your “Goal” will enhance or evolve your perfection because you love yourself now and in the future doing the things you love to do. You have the choice to control the outcome even change the dream. No one’s judgement or personal dream can affect this.  Remember this may not be easy; be gentle with what you don’t know you are doing the best with the knowledge you have at this moment.  From the onset to the end result you are perfect. Perfection is not tied to the end result. Whatever you do will not define you.  All we can do is work on our own personal dream, see the perfection in others even if their efforts are trying to create a nightmare they too are doing the best with the knowledge they have at this moment. 

Comparison and Competition: 

Do you see others as the enemy? Do you compare yourself to them? Why do we do this? The answer is simple the myth of scarcity; there is never enough, you better act quickly, everything is in short supply.  When we continually act on this the result will always be suffering. When we act out of fear, doubt, shame, judgement, and attachment we cannot also be motivated by unconditional love. Scarcity often leads to this idea that we will never be enough, we will never have enough, we are flawed, we are broken.  Think about the times in your life when things did not go the way you wanted: If you think about it you did not get that thing you wanted but you did receive exactly what you needed at that particular time or in that particular situation. It is only when we put conditions on our perfections that we move away from perfection. This idea is simply self-inflicted suffering that we tend to create in our own minds.  We can let this idea go! We can trace every untruth back to our agreements we made either consciously or unconsciously and the answer is always the same.

The answer is: Unconditional self-love! Expect Nothing Accept Everything.  Everything in life is perfect! You are more than enough. Trust and surrender to whatever the moment brings because you will get exactly what you need. 

 

 

Mindset:

I want people to come into the gym and look at the workout as the challenge of the day (COD)

I want people to practice control over the mind through physical activity. 

WOD- The body was designed to move; the WOD is a celebration of this movement and expression of our most human actions Awareness and Movement.  This answers 5 major questions: Who am i?, Why am I here?, What am I doing?, How do I get better?, What do I stand for? 

Awareness:

  1. Who am I? I am the one who sees the events, thoughts, and emotions before me.  Consciousness. The receiver at every level of your experiences. The world is coming in through your senses.  Centered is the recognition of the awareness of consciousness. EX: Think of how we experience a movie. Consciousness and Awareness are the same.  Aware that it is aware! Awareness of being is aware of inner and outer objects you happen to be aware of. Consciousness can focus on anything. Meditation is the awareness that you are aware, you are conscious of your own consciousness. Make awareness that object of consciousness or contemplate the nature of self that is meditation.  The more you are willing to let the world be something you are aware of the more it will let you be who you are. Consciousness may seem small and limited because you focus on small and limited things. Pull back and see everything! So, who am I? Answer: Me. Be the answer. 

  2. Why am I here? I am here to be happy without conditions.  You are born and you will die. You get to choose whether you want to be happy with the time in between.  Events don’t determine your happiness they are just events. Enjoying life’s experiences is really the only thing to do.  In the game of life, you win if you can remain happy no matter what. So, why am I here? Answer: To be happy.

  3. What am I doing? I am here to work on my own personal dream and accept myself as a perfect being through the eyes of unconditional love.  I am perfect; my dream is to accomplish specific tasks, find my strengths, and see what I am capable of doing. I have no place to go or nothing to achieve because any seeking of perfection outside of yourself is actually a movement away from perfection.  Remind yourself that whatever you are working towards is something that you want to do. So, what am I doing? Answer: Creating my dreams.

  4. How can I get better? I get better by confronting fear and letting go.  Fear is the cause of all problems. Fear is a thing you are capable of experiencing. You can recognize you have it and work to release it or you can hide from it.  If you define life by your struggles life is a threat, a worry, you are fighting with creation making creation the most fearful thing. You will not live you will be afraid.  Pain is the universal language between the body and the mind. Pain tells us what is wrong with the body. Fear is the universal language between the mind and the consciousness.  The mind convinces us that we must change things on the outside to be happy on the inside. Don’t listen to your mind! You are not the thinking mind you are only conscious of the thinking mind.  Watch your mind, fall behind the mind just relax and let go your mind can constantly drive you crazy over nothing so don’t get involved.Aware that you are aware. The mind follows the heart and eventually its all heart so learn to let go at the heart level and you will free your energies so you can free yourself.  Liberation. Pain is the price of this liberation. You have the choice to deal with your pain or let it run your life trying to protect it. Don’t let the weakest parts of you run your life.  You are not the pain you feel.  Any behavior pattern based on the avoidance of pain becomes a doorway to the pain itself.  The heart is where pain comes from deep inside you have not dealt with pain and it is layered into every part of your life.  Pain is not a problem it is just a thing in the universe that comes and goes we don’t need to devote our life avoiding it we can laugh at it or have fun with it but don’t be afraid of it.  Pain will have its moment and that moment might be tremendous, remember to relax and let go, let the pain pass through you or you will close around the pain and it will stay with you. If you close around something you will be psychologically sensitive about that subject forever until you release it.  Spirituality becomes reality when you are in the moment of consciously being aware that you are willing to pay the price of pain to be free. So, how I get better is being willing to be uncomfortable, confronting my fears, accepting disturbance, and letting go of pain.

5. What do I stand for? I stand for unconditional love, living my dreams, confronting my fears, choosing to be happy no matter what, accepting pain for liberation, the awareness of consciousness, and being a human. 

Movement:

  1. Who am I? I am an athlete.  I express my fitness in my own way.  I enjoy being physically active every single day. 

  2. Why am I here? I am here to get better every day.  Do something every day to move you forward in your relationships.  Exercise is the most powerful form of medicine most of us never seem to take.  Listen and learn new skills. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Be the best version of yourself.  Challenge yourself. Stay motivated through constant challenge. Challenge expectation. Challenge behavior.  Show the body what real stress is so we can reset our frame of reference or reset our body’s set point for stress.  Leave your comfort zone. Enjoy the journey. 

  3. What am I doing? I am moving. I will define the task.  Define the belief. Complete tasks. Identify weaknesses.  Confront failure. Evaluate. Make corrections. Move on. 

  4. How can I get better? Show up! Everything you do starts with showing up and being where you need to be.  Be Consistent! Commit! Make it a habit and hold yourself Accountable. Be accountable to yourself and others.  Track your Progress. Enjoy your training. Yes! It’s hard. Yes! It can hurt. Teach your body to embrace the pain all for the purpose of getting better.  Training does not have to be another thing to get through. Sweat. Effort earns Respect! If you spend too much time asking questions or trying to make things easier, you have missed the point.  Do not Cut corners. Do not cheat. Do not take the easy way out. Work! Work Hard! Work often!   

  5. What do I stand for? Being physically active.  Being active every day!! Getting better every day.  Show up! Have control over your mind. Enjoy the process.  Sweat!

 



Brian WalshComment